shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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