the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
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