have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
