I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
