whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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