Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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