I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
