6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
