woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
