i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
