You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
What a dumb baby whore.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
