I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
