Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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