If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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