He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Couch. On fire.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
