Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
