Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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