shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
