he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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