we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
