i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
