he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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