you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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