were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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