You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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