Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Houston, we have a squirter
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
