Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
