Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
and she was petting her beer can
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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