she woke up with a sticky ear
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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