miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize