How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
