3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
