We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
