anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
