Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
