Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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