Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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