maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
