Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
