wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I enjoy the company of your penis
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