Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
