I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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