Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
