my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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