Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
