i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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