I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
