I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
