I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
