Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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