Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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