She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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