I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
