You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
