Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
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You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
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I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I would fuck him just for his dog