Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone