So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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