I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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