Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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