We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
