think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Can Purell be used as lube?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
