FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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